Having “The Talk” with kids has historically been a time of high anxiety for parents, simply because it was learned behavior through the generations. Even now, some consider the topic of sex to be taboo. But to raise safe and healthy children today, parents need to embrace a new approach and create an environment of honesty, open communication, comfort, and trust.
Numerous studies have shown that kids who grow up in families where sexuality is openly discussed are healthier, safer, happier, and less likely to participate in risky behavior.
Living in a society where 1 in 5 children will be abused by the age of 18, and where an understanding of diversity and inclusion is vital, kids need all the guidance we can give them.
Here are some tips to get you going:
- It’s never too early to communicate with your child about sexuality
- If your own education is lacking, utilize the unlimited resources available to learn
- Don’t encourage or assume gender identity that a child typically identifies with by age 3
- Teach appropriate names for body parts, not slang
- Acknowledge respect for all family structures, even those different from your own
- Teach what is good touching and bad touching (anything that makes someone uncomfortable)
- Emphasize that everyone’s body belongs only to them, and “stop” and “no” are to be honored
- Be non-judgmental and open to any questions
- Use opportunities to recognize and appreciate diversity
- If you don’t know an answer, look it up, don’t make it up
- Make sure all communication is age-appropriate
- Don’t try to fit everything into one conversation
- Don’t overshare; bring out your high school biology book for a four-year-old and lose your audience
- Topics your child is exposed to on TV or in books are great conversation starters
- Make your conversations a “safe time” for sharing feelings
Don’t let your child learn about sexuality from peers, the internet, or other sources that are often incorrect or don’t share your family’s values. Reaching out to them first is an investment in their future.